Sorry that I haven’t updated in FOREVER
I haven’t really had enough time with school and such but hopefully if I find some free time I’ll do a brand new rant for you guys!! <3
Upon reviewing my last post about the movie industry I’ve come up with a reoccurring feature that I could do on this blog. I gave it the extremely imaginative name “People I Hate” and, obviously, I intend to do posts about a certain person who I hate. Although I would just like to clarify that obviously I don’t know these people personally, I’m just being a total bitch by judging them on what I see of them.
That being said.
I don’t really know where to start with this one.
Maybe I’ll start with the fact that every time I say that he is a fucking horrible actor some one always disagrees with me.
To which I respond with "Okay, well prove me wrong. Name a good one." And no one can ever really answer. Which is exactly my point, how is it that so many people know who this man is but they can’t name something that they like.
It’s really weird, it’s like he has some sort of device that hypnotizes people into thinking that he’s a good actor, but not actually supplying any facts to back that up with.
There is really nothing more I can say about this man that has not already been said, but pretty much everything I can think of is in this video (wonderfully edited by hh1edits)
Okay, let me just explain something to the general public.
I. Fucking. Love. Movies.
They will always be my number one.
I’ve watched a RIDICULOUS amount for someone my age and I am proud of it.
When I was a kid I fell in love with the feeling of absolute euphoria upon exiting an insane good movie and it has stuck with me ever since.
BUT on the other hand, there are a lot of things that bother me about the movie industry.
Not about the movies themselves (although that is the case in some scenarios). No, my biggest beef is with something that has increased drastically in the last couple of years.I am talking of course about the dreaded movie remakes, unnecessary sequels and (the bane of my existence) PUTTING MOVIES OUT AGAIN IN 3D.
I remember when I was a kid 3D was such a lame gimmick, with the blue and red foil over itchy, small paper glasses that burned your eyes if you were to watch an entire movie in such conditions. Now it seems that 3D has made some sort of weird comeback, and although I’m NOT saying that they haven’t improved it drastically, it’s… well, how do I say this? You know how Avatar (as fucking terrible as it is) was actually filmed in 3D? As in they knew that they were going to make the movie into 3D so they were using all of the special cameras and equipment that makes it so amazingly good? Yeah well that’s why it looked so good BECAUSE IT WAS MADE ME TO BE IN 3D!! FUCKING HELL!! It’s a fucking sleazy way for production companies to make more money, which I find very ironic because most of the time it makes it an even worse experience than it would be originally. You’re just adding a migraine to the list of things people have to deal with after watching your shitty movies.
Sometimes this just makes me want to blow my fucking brains out with some of the absolute bullshit they pull out of the trash and throw at some director to make. Ummmm just off the top of my head: Michael fucking Bay. He is one of the WORST FAMOUS directors out there. Every time I see his fucking smug face I just want to use one of his 2394823094 explosions and blow his fucking face off. STOP HIDING BEHIND YOUR SPECIAL EFFECTS AND TRY AND MAKE A GOOD FUCKING MOVIE FOR A CHANGE YOU UNTALENTED PIECE OF SHIT!!! He is living proof that directors of music videos should STAY directors of music videos.
But, by far, one of the worst things that he ever did was remake the Transformers. Granted, yes I kind of liked the first one because it’s the fucking Transformers and it was somewhat entertaining, but you know what? After the second fucking movie I start to get a little annoyed… What’s that you say? THERE’S A THIRD ONE TOO?! Well fuck me; I must have just trained myself to block it from my mind to prevent any further raping of my childhood.
Ugh, I mean yeah it’s 100% completely a movie for teenage boys and young men but so is any given Jason Statham movie and I fucking love those. But it is difficult to hear the movie over all the fapping going on as a result of the high-tech explosions and Megan Fox’s alien face.
BUT I DIGRESS Michael Bay isn’t the only one who is committing mass Hollywood genocide. There’s TONS more to look at and shake our heads.
Like the Pirates of the Caribbean series, whose run ended basically five minutes into the second movie, but for some reason got two more just to add insult to injury.
Or how about all your favourite old Halloween movies like Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre and so on? All of them ruined by the mere miscommunication that just because we can do special effects way better now they we used to DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO REMAKE EVERY FUCKING HORROR MOVIE IN THE GOD DAMN WORLD!!! We love them because they’re timeless, catch the fucking net. I think this might be the most exploited category next to foreign movies in what gets remade the most and I’ll get to that in a second. The thing is, I love the original Nightmare on Elm Street because it’s old, corny and has horrible effects (compared to watch we can do now) and yet, it’s scary as hell. I spend more time laughing my ass off in the remakes instead of wondering if Jason is going to jump out from behind the tree and kill somebody. You don’t really care about anyone because you know they’re only in the movie to show how many different ways they can kill a person in one movie.
But another thing, just quickly, why do they feel it’s necessary to remake perfectly good movies for the sole reason that they have subtitles. Talk about being ignorant towards culture; just read the fucking subtitles guys. It’s not that hard. *coughGIRLWITHTHEDRAGONTATTOOcough* although they’re going in the right direction by casting Daniel Craig… it definitely helps distract from the annoyance of the remake.
I don’t know… I wouldn’t sweep this topic under the carpet just yet though. This might have to be on going due to the amount of shit spewing out of Hollywood right now. I’m going to keep this case file open until a later date.
"Jesus fucking Christ why would they NOT give me a sleeve for this coffee?! Ugh, I swear to God they heat it in the fucking fiery depths of Mordor! I’m not even kidding, I could drop the one ring of power into this shit and it would all be good."
And later, "I’m going to have to throw this out soon, my coffee has gone from Mordor to Jotunheim."
- Me, commenting on my coffee
You know what, I’m sure that if Satan could transform himself into a horrible situation he would turn himself into being a sober teenager busing home from work on a Saturday night.
I swear to God they must have some sort of douche-bag stock room somewhere in the city were they give them tons of alcohol and send them out into the world every Saturday night. Only to have them return to the room at the end of the night so hide until next Saturday.
I can just imagine a guy with a clipboard saying "Okay guys, it’s Saturday night, you know what to do. Make sure you get smashed, super high, buy hot men/ women drinks (date rape is optional), take transit as much as possible, hit on people relentlessly and make sober people feel stupid for being sober. Oh yes and also make sure once you’re done all of these things, you go parading down the streets screaming at the top of your lungs the things that you just did. Then you should be set. Good luck.”
And after you’ve worked a long shift and you’re just trying to go home and get back to your comfy couch with your video games (where the world makes sense) and your bus is JUST about to pull out of the loop and they run after it. Knocking on the window for the bus driver to stop, they end up getting on and (of course) take the seats that are all around you. The smell of axe and booze immediately floods the area, testing my gag reflex and giving me an instant head ache. Maybe I’m just a magnet for socially inept strangers, but this happens to me every time I bus.
And don’t they always have the most colourful vocabulary?
"Dude, fuck, you’re such a fucking homo."
"Bro, I’m so fucking drunk right it’s fucking retarded."
"I AM SO FUCKING HIGH RIGHT NOW, FUCKKKKKKKK" (which you get a lot of out here in BC)
THERE ISN’T ENOUGH VOLUME ON MY IPOD TO SHUT THEM OUT; well, without making my fucking eardrums commit suicide.
"Hrmm.. Committing suicide does sound like a valuable option, anything would be better than this."
And (like I should judge) they have to use the word “fuck” every other word because that makes them cool or more masculine or bad-ass or whatever the hell their reasoning is.
They always find some poor, gorgeous girl (obviously WAY out of their league) to try and hit on and make even more of an ass of themselves.
Oh, and it doesn’t just go for guys either. At least the guys are just verbal, with girls.. Well, I don’t think I’ve ever been so close to a red light district in my life. With their tiny, little skirts in FUCKING NOVEMBER when it’s PISSING RAIN and I’m friezing my tits off with a scarf, gloves, winter jacket and jeans on. Give me a fucking break, looking hot is NOT worth getting pneumonia. Actually, if they got pneumonia more often then the Earth would be eradicated of these fucking morons and all us normal people can live our lives without having to shield your vision when going up an escalator on a weekend. Ugh, just keep your fucking legs closed; I can just smell the mixture of lacking self-confidence, low standards and recently plowed vag from here.
Oh yeah, what’s with almost all of them always getting off at the same fucking bus stop? Is there some sort of dick-face party that takes place every Saturday that the rest of the world can’t know about without becoming one themselves?
Just further proof of the douche-bag stock room…
They’re all going home together, I guess. Back to their home planet: Ed Hardy, or whatever the fuck they came from.
I wish that TV shows wouldn’t put us through the same shit over and over again.
Sometimes it really feels like if you have a new, fresh idea and you pitch it to a TV network they have one thought and one thought only: Exploit the living shit out of it.
True Blood is a textbook fucking example of taking a good idea and turning into the same old boring shit that you can find on Much Music funded programming.
I know, I know there are going to be TONS of angry fans that are going to grill me for this but let me get just one thing straight: I used to love this show. I would sit down every Sunday and devote my time to this show, and I’m not a big TV person so in order for me to get into something like that I have to be pretty damn intrigued to be there every week.
But I digress this rant is not about how good the show WAS it’s about how much of a waste of time it has become.
I don’t know how much they’ve managed to take a story with solid plot, strong characters, complicated yet intriguing relationships and an interesting new take on vampires and turn it into the bullshit it is now. The main part about this that is driving me fucking INSANE is that this whole show has turned out to be one big fucking lame-ass love triangle. Oh yeah and thanks a lot Alan Ball, but if I wanted to see awkward sexual tension between a human, a vampire and a werewolf I would watch the Twilight movies (and that’s never gunna fucking happen). PISS OFF! I’M WATCHING FUCKING HBO AND I HAVE TO SEE EVERY TEENAGE GIRL’S FUCKING WET DREAM?! I DON’T WANT TO SEE THEM FUCK, I WANT BLOOD AND GUTS! I WANT TO SEE BILL COMPTON RIP SOOKIE STACKHOUSE’S PERFECTLY BLONDE HAIR RIGHT OFF HER FUCKING HEAD!! Sigh. I wish I could fucking travel through time to stop Anne Rice from ever making Lestat sexy so that vampires could go back to being disgusting things that people would have NIGHTMARES ABOUT!! Not the kind that women see and think to themselves “Oh yeah, I’m gunna fuck that.”
PLUS WHILE WE’RE ON THE TOPIC HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK!? HOW DO YOU GET IT UP IF YOU HAVE NO FUCKING BLOOD FLOWING THROUGH YOUR BODY.
I CALL BUUULLLLLSHIITTT
…I DIGRESS THOUGH. The love triangle between Sookie, Eric and Bill is BEYOND obnoxious to the point that I just want them all to either die or hook up with some one else (honestly I never thought I’d be voting so much for Alcide).
Not ONLY does the flip flopping between his love interests get on your fucking nerves to the point of contemplation of suicide, but they also ruin all the other characters in the show by getting them in stupid situations that they don’t even need to be in but that affects their character for the rest of the series. PRIME EXAMPLE= Tara; and look where that got her, a nice big fucking hole in her head.
They just fucking around with characters until they have nothing more to contribute to the story and then they kill them off, it’s such horse shit. PLUS they kill off all the likeable characters and keep all the ones you WANT to see torn to pieces.
All I’m going to say is that if your character is NOT an antagonist then I should NOT be cheering when they get a shotgun bullet to the face *coughTARAcough*
Ugh, so pretty much to sum up this one
Vampires… yeah they shouldn’t fuck people unless it’s fucking them up.
I look for more mature scenarios from a more “mature” show, not teeny bullshit.
Try not to run your good characters into a corner where the only escape is death.
Oh yeah and kill off Sookie and make Jessica the main character, she’s more likeable.
And I’m not watching your next season.. and I hope more people let this go because they’re only relying on the people who are watching it just because they liked the first two seasons
Within the next 48 hours I’m going to be uploading my first real post about the ever so popular HBO show True Blood, based on the books by Charline Harris.
I’ll be looking at how they went from original, thrilling and entertaining to obnoxious, taxing and mind-numbingly stupid.
I’ve always been a very opinionated person, and like most opinionated people I pretty much hate everything.
Annnd like most people who hate everything I figured that the best place to share my thoughts is on the internet.
I’m mostly just going to use this blog to take out my frustrations and rant about things that I find ridiculously stupid.